Ashley Beach-Author and Storyteller

2023 was a busy year. It was hard to believe month to month that yet another month in the new year had passed and even when New Year’s Eve came around on Sunday, it felt like anything but the end of the year and time for a new year to begin.

I made contact with a Christian bookstore owner in Iowa at the beginning of last year and she invited me to come out to do a book signing at her stores. I was very excited for this opportunity as it was my first official book signing since publishing my first back in 2020. My mom was born in Iowa and spent much of her growing up years there and I went to college for 3 years at Faith Baptist Bible College in Ankeny, IA, so I was more than familiar with the beautiful state and was excited to be asked to come out and do this book signing. If you don’t know much about self-publishing, it is an expensive venture that has little return in the beginning. Like any start-up business, the money you put into it is far greater than the money you get out of it, and sometimes, it stays that way for a while. The book signing in Iowa was an amazing opportunity, but you have to have books for a book signing so I had to buy a lot of books in bulk to get ready for it as well as putting money towards posters/postcards/marketing/ads for the event. I was already pretty strapped financially at the beginning of the year and coming off of the holiday season and having to figure out how to pay for the books I would need so I could sell them was a journey of faith to say the least. I kept believing that if this was what God was wanting me to do, He would provide, but as happens more often than not, it seemed that provision wasn’t going to come. I ended up taking a part time job cleaning a cute victorian B&B in Golden, CO. I was already working a full-time job down south off of Arapahoe and I-25 (if you’re from Colorado, you know I-25 is one of the worst commutes anyone could have). It would take me anywhere from 45 min- 1 hr to get down to work and if I didn’t get down there early enough for me to leave before traffic started to get bad in the afternoon, I would easily be on the road for and hour/ hour and a half coming home. Not a fun way to spend your days, and I had even started looking for other jobs closer to home because of the commute. So, in addition to the long commute and full work week, I was now working on the weekends cleaning this little inn to make some extra money so I could pay for books and the trip to Iowa. I was also preparing to audition for Sight and Sound again, which is a story I shared about this summer in another blog, but suffice it to say, I was busy, I was exhausted from burning the candle at both ends and not having enough fumes on either end to keep going, plus singing on the worship team at church a couple times a month and trying to live life with my family.

Amidst that busy chaos of the first part of the year, my nephew was born at the end of February, which was very exciting for our family. We just celebrated Christmas with them last week, and he has the most melting smile in the world and lights up a room with his sweet, easy-to-come smile. We celebrated my niece turning 3 in December and she is the sweetest, most imaginative little girl I’ve ever met and I love her more than anything. We also took a quick trip to Kansas City, MO in January to celebrate a milestone birthday for my uncle which was a fun trip to start the year. I also held a book launch for the third book in my Solstice Chronicles series in February since it released in December. I ended up getting a small raise at work in April and the backpay from that ended up being enough to cover the hotel expenses for our trip to Iowa, so God did provide. We went to Iowa in May for the book signing and it ended up being a very good trip. Life had been so busy and chaotic up to that point, we were looking forward to a little rest. We spent one day in Pella, IA, which is such a charming and beautiful town, but we had fun trying all the amazing food and checking out the cute shops and just taking a breath of fresh Iowa air before the madness of book signings began. Book signings are great opportunities to meet new people and share your books with a new community, but they can be very long days of sitting and waiting on top of social interactions, which can be it’s own kind of wearing, especially if you’re an introvert like me ;). My roommate from Faith brought her kids to the first store I was at and it was a surprise and a treat to be able to see her. I had another friend that helped lead the young adults group at the church I attended while I was at Faith stop by the last store and say hi as well which was also special. I also got to be on tour with another author, which ended up being an unexpected blessing. I learned a lot from him and it was nice to have someone to chat with in between people and share author stories with.

After my first book signing trip, I started the publishing process on the first book in my new series, Heart of God. This book was quite a different step from the fairytale series I had been writing, but as I’ve said with my other books, I feel like God wrote the story for me and I was simply putting the words to the page. I had started working on this one amidst the final editing and publishing of my 3rd book, so I kept very busy with writing it and developing a whole new series/genre of books. This summer, my mom and I went to many local concerts in the park which is always fun for us. We also got to go to several big name concerts this year which was so much fun. I started a Youtube channel as well this summer and started recording videos of me sharing about the heart and deeper stories behind my books as well as creating/designing promotional pictures and reels for my books. My creative side has loved putting together all the fun videos and pictures for my books and it’s getting easier the more I do it. Part of being an author is the promotion side of your books. They never tell you when you hit that publish button that you are going to be doing a whole lot more than you ever imagined. You become the sole marketing manager and promotions manager and event manager and social media manager, and on and on and on. I am constantly looking for places to do book signings and trying to contact different stores or libraries to try to get a book signing scheduled or coming up with content to post on social media and it is a lot to keep up with. I am so thankful for my parents who have taken their pride in their daughter being a published author into a marketing push of my books. My dad hands out bookmarks to almost everyone he meets or talks to and my mom tells everyone about them too. They’ve both gotten to see the hard side of being an author as they’ve joined me on book signings, which I’m glad I get to share that with them and they get to see and have a deeper understanding of all that it takes to be an author. I’m thankful for friends that have shared my posts or requested my books at their local libraries or supported me at different book events. It takes an army to get stuff out there and I couldn’t do it without all of you. After attending Faith in Iowa for 3 years, I transferred to Calvary Bible College in Kansas City, MO. My roommate from Calvary reached out after I got back from my book signing in Iowa and asked if I would ever come out to her hometown to do a book signing. I told her I definitely would and she made contact with her library and started the process of getting me out to Derby, KS for a book signing. And, amidst the chaos of the already busy year, I saw something for a program called National Authors in Grocery Stores that works to get authors into their local grocery stores and a program I am now a part of. So again, lots of busy work advertising and promoting the different book events I was going to be at. End of July, we discovered that the carpet in the corner of our basement was soaked. Not just soaked like something got spilled on it, but sopping wet. This led to discovering that whole corner had been wet for we can only guess how long, but it had been long enough to make the bottom of the desk and carpet moldy in that corner. Which led to having plumbing company come out to look at it on top of getting insurance involved and then have our yard dug up to replace a pipe that had a pinhole leak in it that had been dripping for a very long time, to ripping out the paneling and carpet and having mold mitigation teams come out and dry out our basement before getting a contractor to put everything back. From start to finish, this ended up being a 2 month ordeal and you can imagine the stories that came out of that time. Luckily our basement is put back together, mold-free and beautiful. My mom is a voice over artist and is going to be recording the audio books for my books, which is so cool to be able to have my mom doing that. She had recorded the prologue of my first book right before our water issue and because of the basement saga, her recording and my writing go put on hold for 2 months. In the middle of the basement stuff, we did go to Derby, KS in August to do a book signing at the library and spend some time with my college roommate and her family which was so fun. Her girls love my books and it was so special to get to meet them and spend time with them. I also got to meet up with another friend and her family from my time at Calvary which was so nice. I also did my first book signing at a King Soopers as part of the Authors in Grocery stores program and had several people surprised and impressed that I was able to have my books with Christian themes in public grocery stores. Quite a few Christians came up to me while I was there and were excited to see books like that out there and gave me some encouragement for being there and for writing them. I also sold a book to a sweet tween girl who I could tell was absolutely in love with the books and would truly enjoy reading them. She wanted her mom to buy all 3 on the spot, but to complete disappointment, her mom said she could only buy 1. She bought book 3, but I hope she has since been able to buy and enjoy the other books in the series :). My dad’s sister and brother-in-law were in town and stopped by as well, so it was nice to be able to share something like that with them.

Basement was finally finished along with all the little things we had to finish putting back. I had another book signing at a different King Soopers in October and my dad got to do that one with me and see that side of being an author. I held a book launch for my 1st book in my new series, Heart of God, combined with my 4th book in The Solstice Chronicles (releasing very soon!! Like within the month hopefully!) in October as well since my 4th book is the Fall book in the series and I wanted to have the fall-themed party for it. And, it snowed…..so the worship leader from my church and my dad’s brother and sister-in-law that were in town this time were there along with my immediate family lol…..One of the enigmas of book signings–you never know how many you’re going to get. It’s all a game of chance and sometimes you get tons of people and other times you get one person. But, you keep doing it and hoping for the best.

I was also a part of the big Denver Gift Show as a part of the Colorado Authors League booth this year. Like I said, it’s been a busy, busy year full of lots of new things for my books and life in general. One praise, my job moved to a hybrid remote situation in March and a few weeks ago, I got moved fully remote in my position which is a huge stress-relief for me not having to make that hard commute every day. There have been many fun and special moments that I’m so grateful for this past year, but it has also been another really hard year in many respects. I shared a little about the financial hardships I’ve had with my books this year and being a self-published author. Even though I’ve sold quite a few books this last year, it’s still a very small drop in the bucket compared to the money that went into my book stuff this year. It seemed every show I did, I sold less and less at each consecutive one, and as a business, seeing sales going backwards is not what you want to see. As an author, you pour your heart and soul into writing these books and when you feel that God has given you these stories to write and share with the world, it can be very discouraging and disappointing to not seeing them selling the way they should be. It is very hard to keep up with the social media postings and constantly trying different ways to get your books out there and after everything you’ve tried has failed or fallen short, it can be very hard to keep going. Most people would probably give up and decide its not worth it to keep trying, but for some reason only God knows, I can’t stop. He has given me absolutely beautiful stories, and I’m not saying that just as the author who thinks my work is amazing. I say it from a place of humility knowing I couldn’t write these stories without Him and I can’t write them without Him. He gave me unexpected gifts and talents to put words on a page and somehow create beautiful characters that face hard journeys and are often a reflection of my own life story, making me vulnerable sharing that part of myself with the world and pushing me way beyond my comfort zone when I have to talk to people about the books. This writing journey has been a hard one. From personal things I’ve written into these stories, I’ve faced my own personal battles in sharing those parts of myself and my own struggles in this life. I often face spiritual battles with the enemy that plunge my mind into the depths of darkness and my personal demons and thorns in my side because I know the enemy doesn’t want these stories to get out into the world. They carry too much truth and shed light on the spiritual war that’s raging all around on a daily basis, and he doesn’t want the world to know or see those things. After each book signing has had fewer and fewer people buying books or even attendance or support, I’ve become more and more discouraged, feeling like I just keep hitting a brick wall with my books and feeling lost as to what else to do to get them out there and get them noticed. Ironically, as discouraged as I kept getting, I kept turning to my writing and found solace as I continued to write and craft this fourth book in my Solstice Chronicles whose story brought encouragement and hope to my life as I finished writing it and continued to edit it. Overall, it’s hard to say that 2023 was a good year. It had good moments, for sure, and the moments I get to spend with my family, especially my niece and nephew, who are discovering life and bringing joy through imagination and stories of their own, definitely rank high on my list of good moments from the year. But it has admittedly been a lot of hard and overwhelming and exhausting in a lot of ways. I’ve grown skeptical of the God who says He will provide and have lost my ability to fully trust Him. I have not spent the time reading my Bible or praying as I should because every time I try to start praying or reading my Bible, I’m reminded of all the hurt and loss and disappointment and its hard to read about a miraculous and loving God when you aren’t seeing or feeling that in your life. It’s hard to pray to Him when you don’t know how to believe that He’ll come through for you because He’s felt distant and absent for so much of your life. It is hard to figure out how to be in a relationship with this Creator God when your life has put miles of separation between you two. It’s like any relationship here on earth. After you’ve been cast to the corner by the one person you thought you could trust in, you don’t know how to trust again or even how to have a relationship again.

I’m praying and hoping many things for 2024. Abundance for my books and my writing and for them to finally start to get noticed and take off. Good connections, both professionally and personally. And utmost, for a better year between me and God. I know deep down He’s truly there and I know it will be a process to come back to Him and trust Him again. I know He has yet to abandon me and is standing right beside me, waiting and longing to love me and show me the beauty of that relationship with Him. He’s been working on slowly wooing my heart back to Him and taking way the poisonous arrows that have deeply wounded and scarred me against love and trusting in a relationship. And I’ve been resistant and untrusting with His loving attempts to bring me back to Him, but, I’ve also been discovering that my heart isn’t as hard as maybe it once was to His attempts to pursue me. I can only pray that He continues to soften and heal my wounded heart as we begin this new year and I can find a way to open His word and read it and keep that wounded heart open as much as I don’t want to some days. I know I am not the only one with struggles and hard things faced or endured in life this past year, or even the past several(many) years. There are lots of hard things going on in life and it can be hard to find God’s loving light in the darkness of our world, but I pray that 2024 will be a year of revealing of God’s beauty and love in each of our lives. Prayers that have long gone unanswered, may they finally come to fruition in 2024. Long-time struggles or battles, may they cease or come to a time of peace in 2024. May God’s presence be felt in the hard times to come and may His provision be seen. May His love be felt in a deeper way than ever before in each of our lives. Here’s to a new year of seeking after Him.