Ashley Beach-Author and Storyteller

Hello to the Beauty Restored realm. It has been a while since I posted anything or shared much from my world. It’s been hard to write and share much of anything in recent months, partly just because the of busy season of life leaving me with little to no mental or physical energy to concentrate on writing or posting things. But there have also been a lot of emotional things going on in my life in general and in my personal life.

It is hard to even know where to start. My mom and I started attending a new church back in November/December and it has been a really good church to be a part of the last few months. The people are beyond welcoming and caring and reached out to us and have supported us and invested time and energy into us like we’ve never experienced before in life and the community we have found at this church has been such a much needed blessing in our lives. There was nothing wrong with our other church biblically or foundationally, but we just never felt like we fit and had been looking off and on for a different church last year and God just happened to have us look this one up one Saturday night and we went and visited and within the first visit, we felt more welcomed and seen and involved than we’ve felt at any other church either of us have ever attended. Community is so important and God designed us to live and share life with others and it’s just been a huge blessing to find that like-minded and loving-spirited family at long last.

With the new onslaught of community, which when you’ve lacked that interaction with people and involvement for a long time, it can actually be a little overwhelming becoming so involved so quickly, lol, and though really good and needed, it also became a lot with everything else going on in our lives the last few months. We got involved in the community group at our church and helped out with an tea for a tween turning teen girl which was an absolutely beautiful day watching her mom speak amazing words of truth and love over her, and the wonderful woman who saw a need to start a ministry for the tween girls in our church and started a whole ministry for them from the ground up and pours into their lives speak over her and share her own life experiences and wisdom, and then see these young girls not be afraid to pray over this precious girl in front of all the women in our church. Truly just a beautiful thing to be a part of and witness and so excited to get to participate in another one coming up here in a couple weeks. But, we also got involved in the women’s ministry in our church and the lady who runs that organizes a fellowship every month for us to come together and share life together and give opportunity for different women to host which has been amazing as well. We’ve put together prayer boards and taken meals to some shut ins in our church and heard some testimonies and my mom and I decided to host the fellowship in May. We wanted to do little butterfly diamond art and put together a devotional to go with it and portray finding our beauty in Christ and our purpose as women which turned out to be a really great day as well, but if you know anything about diamond kits, we got a kit of 24 butterflies and each color diamond is in an entire pack of that color for the whole set and since we have a short time together for our fellowships and women of all ages and stages of life, we decided it would be easiest to count out the diamonds for each kit so each woman had their own individul kit with the amount of diamonds/colors they needed for their specific butterfly. If you ever want to lose your mind, just count out diamonds for 24 butterfly diamond kits lol. We discovered we couldn’t have music on that had words or even instrumental music of songs we know and love because you start singing halfway through counting and lose count or count sections what seemed like 50 times and it’s just a crazy time lol. But the end result was definitely worth it, but that was more time spent on doing the prep stuff for that plus putting the devotional together. Our church also did stations of the cross and since my mom and I are both creative and artistic, we got asked to help with a couple stations. My mom recorded a dramatic reading call My Son, My Savior that she had performed in high school and won a competition for, so she had to review that and record it and then I put it together in a video (you can check it out on my YouTube channel), I printed up a devotional I had done a year or two ago about Jesus on trial before Pilate and being found without fault but still condemned, and then I also did a short video on betrayal. Again, end result well worth it, but more time in prepping for it. We also helped out with the Easter egg hunt at our church and did a fun photo booth for that. Not complaining at all. It’s been a wonderful few months at our new church and we’ve absolutely loved getting involved and getting to know people, but it’s been a lot when coupled with everything else we’ve been doing.

In addition to working a full time job and getting super involved in our church, I’m also a part of an amazing show choir here in Colorado and I do say amazing and mean it. This choir has become my performing family in so many ways and a much needed performance/theater outlet for me the last year and half and this season we became even more of a family. The people in it are amazing and incredibly talented and our show this season was songs from animated movies which of course I loved so we bonded over wonderful songs and I helped out with a lot of the choreography and work hard to put meet the member posts together for our social media pages and just love being a part of this wonderful group and I know my family sees how important and influential this group is in my life which makes it even more special. We had a really good group this season and good songs and good overall show. In the midst of all the fun we had this season, we experienced a tragic loss as a group when one of our members passed suddenly back in April. The loss of our beloved member after just getting to know her rocked our group as a whole and as individuals. The manager (aka supreme leader) had the extremely difficult task of sharing the news of Kelly’s passing on Good Friday morning. I don’t cry often, but I cried that morning. Unfortunately much of my life, I’ve had to push down my emotions and carry on with life and don’t get (or give myself) much opportunity to process emotions. The news of the sudden passing of someone in your life will usually trigger tears unbidden and a loss like that often hits in waves of grief where you’re fine for a few moments and then out of the blue tears are streaming down your face or a certain word or phrase triggers a new onslaught of tears. My mom and I went to walk through the stations of the cross at our church that day and helped out with the Easter egg hunt the next morning which provided a good distraction, but news like that still rocks your world in ways you can’t always process or express right away. Our choir got asked to sing at her service the following week, which was a huge honor, but one of the most emotional experiences of my life. In some ways, it was weird to sing at her service because she was new to our group this season and we had barely gotten the chance to get to know her and all these people that had known her for years were there to mourn the loss of their dear friend and family member. I had only spoken a few sentences with her and interacted with her a few times, but just the few times we got to interact with her, her light and delightful personality shone through and even though I barely knew her, listening to her friends and family share about her, it made me mourn her loss in a different way than I’ve ever mourned the loss of someone before because it was more the loss of what might have been because I feel like we might have been good friends had we had more time to get know each other here on this earth. There were lots of emotions that went with the passing of a member of our choir family but we carried on and kept going to put on a good show for our dear Kelly. With the busyness of church stuff and show stuff and other life things in general, I never had much time to grieve the loss fully, and on top of church and choir stuff, we were watching my niece and nephew quite a bit(which I absolutely being able to be a part of their lives and watch the learn and grow and discover things and wouldn’t trade my times with them for the world), my sister-in-law’s grandma passed within the same week of Kelly passing, and I had been training people at work pretty much every day for a month to fill in for me while I was going to be out of town the week after our show and planning our trip with my mom’s family which was a much needed time spent with family because of different things that have been going on with that family circle as well the last couple years, so I just never really had time to grieve fully.

The week of the show, I finally just cried my eyes out one night before bed. Crying is such a weird thing. We cry when we’re sad or angry or upset and we sometimes feel it’s weak to cry or express emotions, but yet it can be so releasing to cry and let the emotions just flow. I think God created us to cry as a way to express those emotions we can’t put into words and a way to physically release those thoughts that have been weighing us down and we need to cry on occassion. I had a good cry and mourned the loss of what could have been and what would never be and felt inspired to just do the best show I could for Kelly because I knew that she would do the same for any of us and prayed for strength and energy for all of us to just do our best for her. The show turned out really well and I think I can say with confidence it was our best show as a whole. There was such amazing energy on stage and it went off without much (noticeable) issues and just pulled together so well and I’m grateful I was able to be a part of this family this season.

To say I was getting to a point of utter exhaustion by the time the show rolled around could probably go without saying. I was burning the oil on both ends and didn’t even know how I was surviving at that point and don’t even think I was surviving off of fumes but just kept pushing through everything because I had to just get through it all. We had an extremely early flight the Monday after my show so we spent the Sunday after our show packing and getting ready for our trip and still couldn’t fully rest yet. We went to Kansas City to spend the week with my mom’s family which was a trip originally born out of celebrating my cousin’s high school graduation and turned into celebrating my mom’s birthday early since we would be with her family and then celebrating my aunt’s birthday and just spending some much needed time with her family because of different things going on with that family circle. My brother and his family came out too which made it even more special for them to see the kiddos and just share family moments and make special memories. We finally got a chance to slow down for the first time in we don’t even know how long, I started reading a book for fun(shock. It’s been a long while since I’ve gotten to do that too), we did a lot of fun things and it really ended up being just a really good week overall. Before we left, my other aunt had bought some flowers to put on my grandparent’s graves and so after grabbing ice cream to celebrate my aunt’s birthday, we all stopped by the gravesite. My grandpa passed on June 7th, 2000 so it’s been 25 years since he’s been gone, and my grandma passed in July, 2019. I think with Kelly’s passing and my sister-in-law’s grandma passing so recently, it made seeing their graves hit a little closer to home even though they’ve both been gone for a while. My grandma missed my grandpa so much after he passed, her life kind of became consumed with that and she developed alzheimers shortly after he passed, so even though she was physically with us, she’s been gone in a lot of ways for many of the years since my grandpa’s passing, so like with Kelly, the sense of loss and the years missed sharing life with them and celebrating special occassions or experiencing life triumphs or milestones with them washed over me a bit while we stood there. On their shared gravestone, they have a cross, a little saying that says “Together Forever” and a Bible. God and the Bible were very important to both them and I know both of them are whole and healed, celebrating and living life with Jesus which makes their loss not as hard to bear because I know they’re in a better place and they truly are together forever and we will all see them again, but those left behind still experience the loss of their presence on the earth at times.

I know this has been a longer post. LOTS of life has been happening, as you’ve read. A small update on my book world, I know I started posting about my second book in the Heart of God series releasing soon back in December/January. I know some of my readers have been waiting for the 2nd book to come out (I know one in particular is especially excited for it 🙂 ) and I had hoped to have it finished editing and published by now, but lots of life happened and not just life, but just very emotional parts of life have been happening, and I have not had the time or mental energy to sit down and finish editing it. My finances have been in flux too, so finding the financing to get this book published has been hard too. I did have a book signing June 14th at King Soopers in Castle Rock, CO but like so many times when I’ve been in the stores, hardly anyone stopped to talk or were even interested and it just becomes so discouaraging to work so hard on these stories only to have them go nowhere and then it makes you wonder if it’s worth it to keep going, even though these are important and wonderful stories God has given me to share His love and the stories of redemption and second chances and forgiveness with the world and so I know I’m supposed to keep writing them, but being perfectly honest, it’s just very discouraging to still be at this place and not get sales or get the books out into the world. I say this so many times, but God gave me these stories and I know they are good stories and I know they have good messages and the handful of people that have boughten them and read them say nothing but wonderful things about them, but we just never seem able to get passed this chasm of getting people to even just look at them or take a chance on them. I do so much research and classes on what to post and how often to post or do ads or different types of vendor events or libraries or bookstores and make so many contacts and all my efforts seem to just go in a black void of getting absolutely nowhere with this. People always say it takes time to get noticed, which I completely get. Being a musician or actor or any creative pursuit, it is definitely a long haul of hoofing it and getting into wherever you can until you finally start to make it. I get that. I just don’t understand when God gave me these stories and when they’re good stories, He’s bigger than anything that might be blocking them. He’s bigger than any attempts by Satan to keep them from being seen and read. He’s bigger than everything and has the power to get them into the right hands and open the right doors, so why aren’t they going anywhere? People always say it’s in His timing and His hands, which I completely agree with and know, but when life has nothing but closed doors in your face for a majority of your life, it’s hard to keep waiting for Him to open the doors He’s promised to you, especially when it’s nothing I’ve been doing or wanting for my own selfish gain or desires. I want people to read these books and hear about these books because they have such a strong storyline and good characters and all of them point to God and the story He’s writing with each of our lives and these are stories the world could use right now.

A few of my candid frustrations with where I’m at with things right now in life, and it’s not just with my writing or books, but some other things in life right now too, but an honest picture of where I’m at right now as an author too and maybe an asking for prayers for God to open the doors and pour out blessings and abundance over these parts of my life that have been dormant and barren for such a long time. I want to continue to write and share these stories God has given me, but I have to sell books and my mom has to sell the audiobook versions of my books that she’s been recording to make it possible to keep doing this. I believe in the power of these stories and I’m hoping and praying to have more time and mental energy to finish editing The Alabaster Jar and make it another really good story worth the read for my wonderful readers and continue to write more wonderful stories in my Heart of God series and other series to come. I pray for financial blessing to make more books possible in the future and just being a ministry and impact and for many people to read these God-stories.

I apologize for the extra long post. There’s been a lot going on in my life and I wanted to share all that’s been going on so you know what’s up with me and where I’m at with my books right now. I am hoping to finishing editing The Alabaster Jar and look forward to sharing more about yet another beautiful story God has given me with you all in the coming months. I am looking for opportunities to share about my books or sell them so if you know of anwhere I can share or get my books into, let me know. I’ll be speaking at my college November 7 and at the youth group November 9th in Kansas City, so please reach out if you know of anywhere else I can bring my books while I’m out there.

I am truly beyond grateful for the faithful few that have bought and read my books over the last few years. I couldn’t do what I do without you all and I appreciate your love and support more than you may know. I appreciate prayers for future opportunities and for this minsitry to truly reach the ends of the earth and blossom and grow into something beautiful. I do have an opportunity to speak at my college’s chapel service in November in Kansas City as well at a youth group and am looking to add some more engagements while I’m out there. I really have a heart to get these books into local churches and share the heart and testimony behind these books God has given me with the church, so please be praying for churches to have an open heart and be willing to just take a chance on these books. I’d like to get into more libraries and bookstores too so whether in Kansas City area in November, or Colorado, or anywhere in the country you’d like to have me speak and share about my books, please reach out to me and let me know. A dear friend of mine from college asked if I would come to her library in Derby, KS and I said absolutely I would because she asked and loves reading my books with her girls and I know they see the importance of these stories and the impact they can have, so I will likely go almost anywhere if someone asks because that is the best gift an artist can receive knowing their work has been appreciated and enjoyed enough that they want to share it with other people in their lives. I am more than willing to put in the hard work to get my books out there, I just need the opportunities, so all you have to do is ask and I’ll do the rest :).

Praying for God’s continued blessing in this work and for your lives to be touched by the transforming power of His love.